Most of us have at least one experience in life that we wish wish we could delete. That one chapter that you wish you could erase. Oftentimes, these experiences - the very ones we'd like to blot out - continue to carry a lot of weight.
So, how do you deal with difficult stories? What do you do when you want to rip out certain chapters of your life, but you know you cannot do that? How might those chapters - and the desire to discard them - be weighing you down?
How to Deal with Difficult Life Experiences
Accept them, bruises and all
The only answer is acceptance. Yep, that one word.
Accepting your stories is accepting your truth. It allows us to acknowledge that life isn't a bed of roses. Bad things happen. We all have our share of painful experiences.
The only way you can deal with these experiences is to accept them. Accept the fact that they happened, acknowledge the person you were before and how certain chapters may have changed you, and move forward.
Stories that you’re not proud of don’t have to affect every aspect of your life. The past doesn't need to define your future. How such stories affect you is in your hands.
Remind yourself that you’ll be OK
There will be instances in life, usually when we’re down, when we think our difficult experiences define us. Remind yourself that they don’t. Even though such stories are part of you, you will be fine. Better than that, you will continue doing greater things, having new experiences, and writing amazing stories into the book of your life.
What To Do with the Chapters You’d Rather Rip Out
Scrutinize why you want to erase the experience
Why do you want to rip this particular story out? Why, of all the moments that make you who you are, do you want this specific one erased from your life?
If you don’t quite know, consider sitting with yourself a few minutes each day to try and unearth the answers. Let go of the goal of “erasing” some parts of your story. Instead, understand how to deal with difficult stories by scrutinizing why they are difficult in the first place.
Understand that it’s a slow process
Learning how to fully embrace your story, as a whole, takes time. Don’t rush it. Understand that making sense of difficult things is a gradual process and that your pace is your pace.
The thing is, we easily compare ourselves to others. Don’t. Allow yourself to go through your own unique journey of acceptance. Even if you’re moving at a snail’s pace, your stories are all worth keeping, and they don't necessarily have to add weight. That said, it’s a journey to learn how to embrace them, and a slow journey is just fine.
Don’t rip it out. That’s not possible. Just set it aside.
Instead of straining to rip out parts of your whole story, try setting it aside instead. Know that it is what it is, and the experience will always be part of you. It happened, and that is a fact. It's not a single chapter that defines you - it's what you make of all the chapters of your life combined.
Ready to Become A Coach?
One of our values at Lumia is that we dare to be different. Our life coaches ignore the expectations society tries to impose on them, and seek to live from their own truth instead. If you are ready to step into your power and you’d like a partner in the process, come check out Lumia Life Coach Training. Grounded in science, our ICF accredited program features authentic instructors, a robust curriculum, and business instruction to prepare you for liftoff.