The Power of The Stories We Tell ft. Deanna Moffitt

Explore techniques for challenging established narratives, embracing uncertainty, and fostering joy in the journey towards a better self.

The Everything Life Coaching Podcast, featuring Lumia Coaching founder Noelle Cordeaux, is a deep dive into the experience and business of being a life coach. Subscribe to get new episodes weekly!

Deanna Moffitt, ACC, has worked as an independent consultant and entrepreneur for the past 19 years. Before that, she was a Senior IT Project Manager for a Fortune 1000 company and worked with the company’s strategic acquisitions team. She is a senior instructor at Lumia and is ICF certified at the ACC level. She’s delivered over 3,000 workshops both virtually and in person and has worked with companies and organizations throughout the US, Mexico, Canada, Europe, and Australia.

Deanna has always been passionate about why humans act the way they act. Growing up in a chaotic household, she knew she didn’t want the same experience for her adult self. Learning how to recognize and break the chain of generational trauma, limiting thoughts and beliefs, and exploring the power of questions instead of focusing on the “right” answer shifted everything for her. The Rewrite is an extension of her desire to help people reconnect with their ability to create their internal world and in doing so the external world rises up to meet that new self. 

For more information, you can connect with Deanna on InstagramLinkedin, or on her website at www.deannamoffitt.com

The Power of The Stories We Tell, and Asking The Right Questions in Coaching

Noelle Cordeaux, CEO of Lumia, and Deanna Moffitt, ACC, an ICF credentialed coach and Lumia instructor, delve into the impact of storytelling and questioning on personal growth. 

This conversation explores the intricacies of personal development but also highlights the transformative nature of coaching. Listen in as Noelle and Deanna discuss Deanna’s book The Rewrite – and dive into some of our deepest human insecurities, and what we can do about them.

The Essence of Storytelling in Shaping Our Lives

Deanna emphasizes the significance of the stories we tell ourselves, and gaining awareness about how there’s enormous transformative potential in reconstructing our personal narratives.

The narratives we form about ourselves influence our life choices and perceptions of self-worth. By questioning these stories and exploring our true desires, even in simple decisions like choosing our meals, we unlock pathways to fulfillment.

Are we bending over backwards to other people? Are we staying stuck in careers or jobs that we don't really want to be in? These results are the outcome of the story that we're telling ourselves. What's the story I'm telling myself that keeps getting me this result?- Deanna Moffitt

The Art of Questioning

In her classes with Lumia’s life coach training program, Deanna highlights the pivotal role of questioning in the work of coaching. She notes that the right questions are more critical than their answers, guiding individuals to deeper self-exploration and insight. This approach is not just beneficial for clients but can be an effective tool for personal introspection and growth.

The Availability Heuristic

An intriguing aspect of our cognitive process is the brain's method of handling the deluge of information it receives. Our brain sifts through hundreds of billions of bits of information every second, choosing to bring only forty-four pieces into our consciousness. 

This selection process, influenced by our past experiences, forms a bias known as the Availability Heuristic. This bias shapes the stories we believe are possible for our lives, highlighting the importance of awareness in coaching and personal development.

Our brain's response to stories is deeply rooted in our evolutionary makeup. 

Our medial orbitofrontal cortex, activated by pleasure or a sense of rightness, plays a key role in confirming our expectations of the world. Conversely, negative emotions and assumptions of wrongness trigger our brain's pain centers. This evolutionary trait, while vital for survival, can also keep us trapped in limiting cycles and mindsets.

Changing the Narrative: Strategies for Transformation

Deanna's work underscores common themes among individuals who have successfully altered their life stories. 

A crucial element is the courage to question the status quo, embrace the discomfort of uncertainty, and adopt a willingness to explore new paths. Surprisingly, many transformative journeys begin with a "dark night of the soul" moment, a deep realization that the current path is no longer sustainable or fulfilling.

People think that we learn from experience and I don't believe that's true, I think we really learn by reflecting. What do I want to do instead? What do I actually want to claim for myself that I want to move toward? So it's not just circling around the drain around our problems. I don't know that that actually serves us greatly. But it really is a reflection. “This was my experience. What do I want and what do I want to do differently to get to a different outcome?” – Deanna Moffitt

Deanna emphasizes the necessity of a trusted guide and the power of rewriting one's story. These factors are instrumental in facilitating change and improving one's state of being.

Navigating with Joy

Life Design Theory teaches us that life is full of choices. It offers a fresh way of looking at our goals, and how to go about achieving them with more curiosity and joy.

Instead of the old “set a goal and push through no matter what” approach, this theory suggests you take a step, see how it feels, and then decide: do you want to keep going this way, or try a different path? It’s like being in a story where you get to choose what happens next, making decisions based on what’s happening right now, not just on what you want to happen in the future.

This idea also challenges the usual hustle and grind we often hear about. It asks us to imagine a world where creating something new doesn’t have to be so hard. What if you could approach your work and dreams with a sense of play and creativity, making things not just because you have to, but because it brings you joy? This way, you might avoid burnout and find yourself more eager to tackle new challenges, simply because it feels good to do so.

Coaching Can Help Us Challenge Established Narratives

The discipline of coaching, built on strategic inquiry and partnership, empowers clients to question their stories, frames, and perceived limitations. 

This process not only fosters joy, love, hope, and excitement but also helps people navigate between logic and imagination in pursuit of a better life. The ultimate outcome of changing one's narrative is an elevated existence, free from old useless narratives and predestined paths, allowing you to write your own story.

As we explore the depths of our narratives and dare to question the status quo and begin to ask ourselves what it is that we really want, we open ourselves to a world brimming with joy.

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