Creating Real Community: Third Spaces, Hosting Retreats, and the Art of Being (ft. Kathryn Schwarz and Emma Landau)

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In a world where genuine connection feels increasingly rare, three women sat down to explore what it really takes to build authentic community. The conversation that emerged reveals a blueprint for creating spaces where people can simply be. Not perform, not produce, but exist authentically in the company of others.

The Lost Art of Belonging

We are, at our core, a tribal species. For so long, humans lived in smaller communities where everyone had a vital role, where conflict was resolved within the group, and where belonging was a given, not something to be earned or performed.

But somewhere along the way, we lost our third spaces... those places outside of home and work where people could naturally congregate and build community. As sociologist Robert Putnam documented in "Bowling Alone," the gradual disintegration of civic society has left many of us isolated, searching for connection in a world that often feels manufactured and transactional.

The good news? Visionary leaders are creating new models for authentic community, and their approaches offer powerful lessons for anyone seeking to build genuine connection... whether you're a coach starting a practice, an entrepreneur launching a venture, or simply someone who craves more meaningful relationships.

The Intentional Container: Where Vulnerability Meets Safety

Emma Landau's Maisy's Meeting House in Philadelphia exemplifies what happens when someone chooses authenticity over aesthetics. Walking into her space, visitors are immediately struck by one thing: intentionality. Every element (from the personal photos on the walls to the fuzzy socks available for borrowing) is designed to make people feel safe, seen, and at home.

"Everything that's on the walls is meant... there are pictures of me as a baby, like with my grandma and with my mom and like me being silly," Emma explains. "It is meant to make people feel safe. I have specifically created an environment, very intentionally, that I want people to feel safe, comfortable, at home, like the outside world kind of ceases to exist."

This level of intentionality doesn't happen by accident. It requires someone willing to be vulnerable first, to model the energy they want to create.

The Gentle Path to Transformation

Kathryn Schwarz brings a different but complementary approach through her human design retreat experiences. Having spent years in the entertainment industry observing manufactured environments, she's passionate about creating something entirely different: spaces where transformation happens through gentleness rather than force.

"There's been a great loss of the art of gentleness, of the art of softness, of the truth that when you lay your hand gently upon something is when you gain more access," she reflects, drawing from the Gene Keys system that informs her work.

Kathryn's retreat model challenges the typical "dive deep with strangers" approach. Instead, she creates a three-month journey where participants connect online for two months before meeting in person, then continue supporting each other for a month afterward. This structure recognizes that authentic vulnerability requires time and trust.

"I want the softness. I want the over time. Because I feel that that is where we can really bloom, like where we can really express ourselves in a way that we maybe haven't expressed ourselves to people that have known us for years," she explains.

Creating Value Through Being

Both Emma and Kathryn face the same challenge that confronts many community builders: how to sustain something meaningful in a world that often reduces value to immediate transactions. Well-meaning advisors told Emma she needed food and beverage to make her space viable. Marketing consultants pushed Kathryn toward funnels and viral strategies.

Both chose differently.

Emma's space operates on a membership model with deliberately low fees, allowing people to bring their own food and simply exist together. Kathryn rejected manufactured photo shoots in favor of authentic conversations with her co-collaborator.

Perhaps the most radical aspect of both approaches is the willingness to embody their work fully. In a culture that often separates who we are from what we do, these leaders are choosing integration.

But this embodiment is precisely what creates authentic community. When someone is willing to show up fully... vulnerabilities, quirks, and all... they give others permission to do the same.

From Passion Project to Purpose-Driven Business

The dismissive term "passion project" reveals our collective discomfort with work that comes from the heart. But what if we flipped the script? What if following our deepest inspirations wasn't naive but necessary?

"I believe that we've been in a culture that has had so much pressure on doing things even when it doesn't feel good in your body," Kathryn observes. "So I think it scares people to actually consider that you could be doing something out of passion and have it work and be abundant."

The key is holding both truth: yes, this work comes from love and authenticity, AND it has tremendous value that deserves to be compensated fairly.

What Emma and Kathryn are building points toward something larger: a meaning economy that prioritizes human connection, authentic expression, and sustainable abundance over pure profit maximization.

This doesn't mean anti-capitalist martyerdom, but rather it's about trusting that when we create something deeply needed and authentic, abundance follows naturally. It's about recognizing that our unique expressions of creativity and care are not just valuable but irreplaceable.

For the Scared and the Dreamers

If you're reading this and feeling called to create something meaningful but scared to take the leap, here's what our community builders want you to know:

Fear is often your sign to proceed. As Emma discovered, "fear is your sign to do it." Fear frequently appears when we're in the void of creativity, about to birth something entirely new.

You don't have to do it alone. Both Emma and Kathryn emphasize the importance of support systems, be it therapy, mentors, community.

Start where you are. You don't need perfect systems or massive funding. You need intention, authenticity, and the willingness to begin.

Trust the soft approach. Transformation doesn't require throwing yourself off a cliff. "How can you do it in a softer way?" Kathryn asks. Sometimes the gentlest touch creates the most profound change.

Your Unique Ripple

The world needs what only you can create. Your specific combination of experiences, perspectives, and heart creates something irreplaceable.

Whether you're called to create a physical third space, lead transformational retreats, or build community in your own unique way, remember: there is no playbook for authentic innovation. The path forward is paved with intention, vulnerability, and the courage to trust that your authentic expression has value.

The meaning economy isn't some far-off future concept.. it's being built right now, one intentional space, one gentle conversation, one authentic connection at a time.

Want to learn more? Visit Kathryn Schwarz at kathrynschwarz.me to explore human design and gentle transformation, or stop by Maisy's Meeting House in Philadelphia's Old City (maisysmeetinghouse.com) to experience community in action.

If this conversation sparked something in you, we'd love to hear about it. The future of authentic community is being written by people like you who are brave enough to create something different.

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